Category: Verbosity

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The Art of Conversation

On October 5, 2015, Larry Alton wrote: “6 Tips to Rule the Art of Conversation.” Tip #5 is: “Let the other person do the talking.”

On July 21, 2014 Eric Barker listed 7 points of having a good conversation with #5th being: “Great Conversationalists Listen More than Talk.”

Brett and Kay McKay wrote “The Art of Conversation: 5 Dos and Don’ts” on September 24, 2010. #1 in the Dos section is “Listen more than you talk.” And #1 in the Don’ts section is: “Don’t interrupt.”

Yes, we should know how to prepare our thoughts, get our points across, guide the conversation, etc. But the best advice is: Don’t Interrupt.

That’s right: listen to the other person.

In New Mexico, a man came to talk about a problem. After about forty minutes of almost non-stop talking, he said, “Pastor Linzey, I need to get back to work now, but that’s one of the best conversations I ever had. I feel better already. Thank you.”

But I didn’t say much at all.

Interrupting someone as they are speaking is a manifestation of basic immaturity. Interrupting is rude. We expect interruption from a 3-year-old, but we should learn basic courtesy by the time we are eight. Interrupting reveals disregard for the one who is speaking.

One person often asks me a question, interrupts my answer, and forgets that he asked a question. And yes, I get good practice in listening.

As I was growing up, dad used to say, “When you talk, you’re not learning anything. But when you listen, you just might learn something. So practice listening.”

We should learn how to intelligently voice our thoughts. But the number one step in the art of conversation is the art of listening.  Listen to what’s being said so that you can respond intelligently.

James 1:19 (KJV) tells us, “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak….”

But there’s one more thought to this blog. Here it is, and I want you to think long and hard about it. “Learning to actively listen will make you a better writer.” Why do I say that?

I’ll explain it in my next blog. In the mean time …

Write Creatively.

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Are You Loquacious?

As a 10-year-old, I was having a difficult time explaining something to my dad. When I finished, he said, “Well, you certainly are loquacious.”

Later in life I learned that some writers are loquacious, but we often use the term verbose – using unnecessary words, filler material that does not help the story. Some time ago, I read a book and told my wife, “This author didn’t have much to say, and he spent a long time proving it.”

Writers – including myself – should not waste potential reader’s time with verbosity.

I’m not suggesting that we limit our words. What I am hinting at is to make our words meaningful. It isn’t the multiplicity of words that carry the story; the story is in the content of the words. We need to cut out the chaff, the fluff, the filler material, and let the readers feed on the meat. That takes time and planning.

Mark Twain understood it and said, “I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.”

President Woodrow Wilson addressed this subject in 31 words when he was asked to give an impromptu, short talk. “If I am to speak ten minutes, I need a week for preparation; If fifteen minutes, three days; if half an hour, two days; if an hour, I am ready now.”

Don’t be loquacious … I mean, verbose. Make every word count. And be sure to …

Write Creatively.